myTunes Monday

Music is one of the many things that stirs my affections for the Lord. My music library ranges from Christian hip hop to hymns and I’d love to share some of my favorite tunes with you in hopes that they stir your affections and bring you closer to the presence of our Savior. myTunes Monday is going to be a weekly post where I do just that! I’m giving you an all-access pass to some of the greatest music on the planet (clearly I’m biased)!

This week’s post features “Make” by Johnnyswim. Yes, Johnnyswim is the band’s name. You aren’t suppose to judge a book by its cover, so don’t judge this band by their name. Believe me…this husband and wife duo feature incredible harmony paired with powerful lyrics. Enjoy!

Trust Without Borders

If you’re into Christian worship music, you’ve most likely heard of Hillsong United and one of their most recent hits, “Oceans.” It is one of my favorite songs to reflect on and has convicted me to the point where I’d consider “Trust Without Borders” my latest life mantra (yes, it also inspired my blog title). To trust someone is to believe they are reliable, honest and good. With that said, I’ve decided to dive into what it really means to trust God without borders.

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For those of you who know me or have read some of my latest blogs, you know I went to Haiti in March. That experience wrecked my life for the better and continues to do so on a weekly basis. One of the things I admire and envy about the Haitians I met is their reliance on God for everything. In the United States, it’s easy to make things happen for yourself without fully relying on God. If we’re sick, we can go to a 24-hour clinic and get the medication we need to get better. If we want to pursue a dream, many of us have the funds to do so. If we want an education, we show up to school. The amenities we have readily available in the United States aren’t as easy to come by in Haiti. Doctors and medicine are scarce, dreams are often crushed by harsh realities and school is a privilege. The irony I’ve realized in this assessment is that although we’re rich in amenities, Haitians are rich in trust. They embrace trusting God without borders because He is all they have. I thirst for that kind of trust and sole reliance.

We often say “if God is all we have, we have all we need,” but do we really believe that? Honestly, I don’t think so.

I’ve never been at a point in life where if God didn’t come through, I’d be at a complete and utter loss. That is, until now. I’m a college graduate, my internship is ending in less than a month, I’ve applied for 15+ jobs and haven’t gotten a single bite, my 91-year-old grandpa who I absolutely adore has aggressive kidney cancer, my family is tangled in a web of unforgiveness, my bank account is dwindling at a rapid pace and yet, I see God’s reliability and goodness in the midst of every curve ball Satan chunks my way.

According to the standards of the American Dream, my life is spiraling out of control, but trusting without borders means my standards are no longer set by the American Dream. Trusting without borders means that I believe that God’s infinite wisdom is greater than my finite wisdom. Trusting without borders means that I believe in God’s perfect record of faithfulness. Trusting without borders is the willingness to lay down my plans to become a part of God’s bigger plan, wherever that plan unfolds. Trusting without borders means it’s no longer about me, it’s about He. Trusting without borders means that I wholeheartedly believe God is using every circumstance to shine His glory. Trusting without borders means that when I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, the world is at my fingertips because God has brought me to a place of complete reliance on His perfect guidance, protection and provision. Trusting without borders means that when I hear the call, despite uncertainties, I go.

And let me tell you folks, that’s a beautiful place to find yourself.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-8

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'” -Jeremiah 29:11-13

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” -1 Corinthians 10:13

I’d love to hear what trusting God without borders means to you! Feel free to share in the comment box below.

Last, but not least, I’d like to send a BIG thank you to my friend, Whitney Rhoden, for designing the new graphic for my blog. She’s a rockstar graphic designer and you can check out more of her work here: whitandwonder.blogspot.com

Mo Isom: Freedom Redefined

“You are not defined by your past or your plans. You are only defined by the scars on Christ’s hands.” -Mo Isom

Mo Isom, former LSU Soccer star and current inspirational speaker, redefines freedom in her first spoken word. The Truth in this video rocked me to my core and I hope it does the same for you.

Worth in the Cross

Take a second to check out this pen. It’s worth one dollar. Suppose someone came to you and said “I really like your pen. I’ll give you $1,000,000 for it.” You’d probably contemplate this person’s sanity and then accept the offer. That pen’s worth increases from $1 to $1,000,000. 

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Something’s worth is determined by the price paid for it.

God looks at us and sees His children that He adores. Your worth is found in Christ who DIED for you. Do you know the weight of that? Jesus paid His life for YOU! You can’t put a price tag on the infinite worth of Christ. Praying this Truth encourages anyone struggling with worth. You’re a child of God, redeemed at the Cross. You are loved. You are treasured. You are WORTH IT!!!

“But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!” -Romans 5:8

Boldness

Recently, I’ve been praying for boldness in my faith, which sounds incredibly silly to admit since I’m usually bopping around rapping Lecrae and talking about missions. I’m in a new season of life that revolves around working full time for a Minor League Baseball Club. My conversations are different than the casual chatter in a training room or between classes and at times I’ve found myself concerned about crossing boundaries when it comes to sharing Jesus. When I played volleyball I would wear a headband during practice and games that had scripture monogrammed on the side. The headband’s purpose was two-fold. First, it kept my sweat and hair out of my eyes. Second, it served as a conversation starter to share Who I played for.

Now, my average day as a full time employee involves marketing the team, going to community events and helping with in-game promotions. I wear a headband during games, but I’ve chosen to wear ones without scripture for fear of offending one of the 8,000+ people that see me on a nightly basis. As I’ve been praying for boldness, I heard God telling me to bring out the old headbands with scripture.

Sunday I decided to take action and packed a headband with 2 Timothy 4:7 on the side. My hair was looking great, or so I thought, so I opted out of wearing a headband at the beginning of the night. Naturally,  my bangs got oily and I needed to do something about it…it was time to break out the headband. Reluctantly I put it on and headed out to the field. Within five minutes of taking a seat before hopping on a dugout a man asked what was on my headband. Here’s how the conversation went.

Man: What’s on the side of your headband?

Me: 2 Timothy 4:7

Man: Oh, so you’ve fought the good fight?

Me: That’s the goal!

Man: Oh, wow.

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Literally less than five sentences was all it took for God to use my silly headband and move through our conversation! My prayer was answered as soon as I was obedient.

Today I want to encourage you to be bold and stand firm in what you believe. If you ask for boldness to proclaim God’s glory, you will be granted an opportunity to be bold. God’s in the business of making His glory known and He wants to use you to do it! It doesn’t take much. Maybe it’s something as simple as a headband and the willingness to be obedient.

-Meredith

Battlefield

I’ve struggled writing this post because I cannot fathom how my words can possibly grasp and convey the glory and power of God. After wrestling with what to say to portray the way He revealed Himself in the small Haitian village of Source Matelas I came to this conclusion – they can’t. All I can do is channel the raw emotions I experienced and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.

I’ve seen God do miraculous things. I’ve seen Him change hard hearts. I’ve seen Him heal. I’ve seen Him provide in perfect timing. And I’ve seen Him send down His Spirit in a way that makes it impossible to doubt His power, grace, and goodness. That’s the story I want to share.

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March 12, 2013:

The morning was physically, spiritually and emotionally exhausting. I have never seen more pain or a greater need for a miracle. It was our first village outreach day in Haiti and I expected to walk the streets, play with children, pray with people, share the Good News of Jesus. We did all of those things, but what I didn’t expect was the roller coaster of emotions and exhaustion I felt at the end of the day.

The first lady we talked to was a street vendor. After asking enough questions to know her name and make her feel comfortable around us we began asking her about her faith, her family and her struggles. Her eyes revealed the deep hurt she felt. She was barren after 20 years of marriage. Her husband left her to work in Miami. She was alone and desperately desired a child. Lindsey (one of our incredible adult leaders) related to her pain and so did I. Last year Lindsey and her husband, Joseph, wanted to start their family, but after miscarriages and a current pregnancy Lindsey worried about her son who was still in the womb until God spoke into her heart and gave her peace that John David was going to make it. Today their “little bean” is learning to crawl and hamming it up every time me and the other girls come over for a visit. John David is proof that God is bigger than barrenness. In that moment, as Lindsey shared her story, I lost it. I wept uncontrollably as I thought about how much Lindsey’s story related to my own parent’s. I am a result of God being bigger than barrenness. I thought about Hannah, who was barren and cried out to God for a child. God answered her cries and blessed her with Samuel. She dedicated Samuel to God and he became a prophet and judge of Israel (1 Samuel 1). Samuel was used for God’s glory, John David is being used for God’s glory, I am being used for God’s glory. The magnitude of those Truths hit my heart hard and the day had just begun.

Our group of 18 split into smaller groups of six and we continued our walk through the village. My group had trekked about 50 feet from the vendor before being summoned to a woman’s home. We were welcomed into her concrete home without hesitation. A puppy greeted us on the front porch as we walked through the front door. The only light in the home shone through the windows. The first room was the family’s dining and living room. We thought that was going to be where our journey ended, but then the woman motioned to a bedroom off to the right of the living space. I was one of the first to enter the room and stopped abruptly at the sight of a small, disfigured body lying in bed. Maxon-louie was 11 years old and had never spoken. The only noise he made was a quiet grinding of his teeth. His head was swollen to the size of a volleyball and His arms and legs were two to three inches in diameter.

Tears. I was speechless and felt completely helpless. When we asked his mother whether she had accepted Jesus as her Savior, she said she wanted to but needed to clean up her life before she could believe in Jesus. We followed up by asking why she asked us to pray for her family if she didn’t believe. She responded with a shrug of the shoulders. She didn’t know why she asked, but it was evident that she saw a Power in us that could heal her son. We laid our hands on Maxon-louie and prayed. We wept. And when we didn’t have the words to say, we sang.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T’was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
‘Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we’ve been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’ve first begun.

I wish I could tell you that Maxon-louie spoke for the first time and got out of bed to walk. He didn’t. Although we fully believed that God could heal him of his illness, it wasn’t His plan for that moment. He wanted us to love this little boy and his family for that brief period of time and leave them with part of our hearts and our prayers. My heart broke for this family and for this little boy who has never known the joy of playing soccer with his fellow villagers. I left more broken than I came, but was hopeful that this family would realize they don’t have to clean up their lives before accepting Jesus. He takes us as we are and makes us new.

By lunchtime my emotions were on a roller coaster ride. Joy, pain, happiness, awe, hurt. You name it, I felt it over the course of a couple hours. I didn’t think I could take anymore. After meeting the vendor and Maxon-louie we played with school kids and prayed with a woman who accepted Jesus that morning. It was a beautiful sight to see her drop to her knees in awe of the grace and love she received from Jesus. We walked back to our canter along a stream. In Haiti, there are goats and chickens roaming freely throughout the villages, but on this walk we noticed a pig. When we got back from our lunch break our group marched back through the village along stream. We saw the same pig, in the exact same spot, but this time we noticed a huge tree the pig was resting by. How we didn’t notice the tree the first time is an act of God. Haiti is 98% deforested and this tree was GINORMOUS! You don’t miss this tree unless God really wants you to miss it.

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Naturally the five year old in all of us came out and we started climbing the tree. After a few minutes of climbing and taking this picture we heard a voice start yelling at us in Creole.

Crap. The jig is up.

In the yard next to the tree was a woman. Short ombre micro-braids fading from black to gold fell from her scalp. Two necklaces hung from her neck, one depicting an image of Christ. The atmosphere changed the moment she walked over to us. The cold look in her eyes instantly warned us that something about this place was dark. She came out of her yard and started asking us what we are doing. Our translators explained that we were missionaries from the United States that were praying for people and talking to them about Jesus. The translators informed us that she was a Voodoo Priestess and that the tree we were just climbing was used for Voodoo worship. The following conversation ensued:

Us: Do you believe in Jesus?

Voodoo Priestess: No.

Us: Why not?

Voodoo Priestess: I can’t. 

Us: Why can’t you?

Voodoo Priestess: Because I’m afraid.

Us: Why are you afraid?

Voodoo Priestess: There are evil spirits in the tree. I’ve lost seven children and every time I’ve tried to go to church I’ve fallen down and can’t make it.

Translator: Is it alright if they share a story about Jesus with you?

Voodoo Priestess: Yes.

Translator: Does anyone have a story about Jesus they would like to share?

Alicia, one of our group members, started sharing this story from Mark 9:14-29.

And when they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and scribes arguing with them. And immediately all the crowd, when they saw him, were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him. And he asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?”

 And someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.”

And he answered them, “O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me.” And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?”

And he said, “From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”

And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can!’ All things are possible for one who believes.”

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”

And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.

And when he had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?”

And he said to them, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”

Most of our group had started praying while Alicia was telling the story. It was evident that this woman had a battle between good and evil raging inside her. My eyes were closed until Alicia finished telling the story and when I looked up the Voodoo Priestess was gone. Our translator remarked that she had been moved. She gave Alicia an out-of-this-world look and stormed off after hearing God’s Word. We prayed over the tree and her home, began singing “Whom Shall I Fear” by Chris Tomlin and continued our journey through the village. The encounter frightened me, but by the time we made it back to the Mission of Hope campus, an afternoon of playing soccer in a skirt and racing with a small child on my back had successfully distracted me from my fears.

During our debrief that evening we talked about our experiences with the Voodoo Priestess. After the meeting, I was unsettled and sent a message to a few family members and friends in the States asking for prayer for the Voodoo Priestess. I had never witnessed such extreme spiritual warfare. I was afraid and wanted to stay as far away from Source Matelas and the Voodoo Priestess as possible. One emotion began to paralyze me.

Fear.

(to be continued…)

Life to the Fullest

I know it’s old news, but I’m obsessed with Kid President. His optimism inspires me and his message is powerful (not to mention he may be one of the cutest kids ever). We can learn a lot from his pep talk about what God expects of us while we’re spending time in this temporary home. So often we get caught up in the negative things happening during the day and forget that we are like mist that appears for a while and then vanishes (James 4:14). Even on the worst days our hearts are beating and air is filling our lungs. These two truths are a gift because none of us deserve another heartbeat or breath. I deserve the death Jesus died. I deserve the beatings, the nails, the pierced side, but He took the pain for me and for YOU. That Truth should change the way you look at life when you wake up in the morning. Someone died for YOU so that you can live the fullest life!

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. -Jesus

I’d like to challenge you to look at the glass half full and live a life of freedom that is found only in Christ. Laugh until it hurts, dance like no one’s watching, play a part in making someone’s day a little bit better by making them smile, and live in a way that makes people wonder why you are always joyful. Whatever you are doing, do it enthusiastically as something done for the Lord and not for man (Colossians 3:23). Let Christ be your motivation to stay positive. Let every breath and heartbeat be a reminder of a future you will be spending in Heaven. Christ died, so that you could live. Do something about it!

This is life people. You got air coming from your nose!  You got a heartbeat. That means it’s time to do something!

Always Enough

It was a little less than two years ago in a hotel room in Fort Smith, Arkansas after a volleyball game as I sat in bed across the room from one of my teammates, Elissa, when I knew I had met a lifelong friend. We had won the match against our conference rival, keeping an undefeated conference record in reach, but that wasn’t the center of our conversation. It was the first time we had roomed together and instead of getting caught up in the details of our recent victory, we started talking about playing for God’s glory. And that’s when it happened. A friendship blossomed. Fast-forward to today and we’re doing life together. We’ve reached the point where we can ask each other the tough questions that tug at the issues of our hearts. We pray through the hard times and praise at the smallest victories. This past Spring Break, Elissa went to South Padre Island for Beach Reach. After hearing about her experiences and seeing the twinkle in her eyes that clearly conveyed her awe of God’s goodness, I also had the pleasure of reading a paper she wrote for class about her trip. After shedding a few tears, I knew this was a story that needed to be shared.

 

Grab a cup of coffee, get cozy, and bask in the glory of God and how He is moving in some of the most unlikely circumstances. He is so good!

A Personal Essay:

Being at a party sober is like being that one confused puppy at the dog park that tries to keep up when out of nowhere the community tennis ball smacks him in the face and he’s nearly run over by the herd racing after it.

I guess that’s kind of how I felt standing in the middle of Coca-Cola Beach on the last day of Spring Break at South Padre Island. Surrounded by blaring music, erotic dancing, unusual partying mechanisms, and   hundreds of wasted college students, the party had nearly doubled in size since the day before.

“Hi, what’s your name? Where are you from? Oh, that’s cool” had been the introduction to my attempt at being friendly most of the week. As a natural introvert, talking to strangers is usually completely out of the question for me. You have your life, I have mine. Maybe I’ll smile at a familiar face while walking to class, but to actually have a conversation with someone of whom I know nothing about and appear to have nothing in common with. That’s a definite no.

As is turns out, people visiting South Padre during Spring Break are some of the friendliest you’ll ever meet. Especially if they’ve had a bit to drink.

At one point during my South Padre adventures, a couple of friends and I decided to start a classic game of “volleyball” with our new stranger-friends. In reality, it was more like stand around in a circle-like shape and attempt to keep the ball from hitting the ground by awkwardly punching at it while wearing a bikini and laughing uncontrollably.

As a collegiate volleyball player, I can assure you that’s not how you play volleyball. But regardless, this volleyball experience was one of the most fun and unique I’ve ever had. People would see us playing and jump right in, acting like they were going to compete in the Olympics or something. Then they swing and miss. Well at least you’re trying, right? Just when I was ready to give up, our circle managed to keep the rally going for more than 2 contacts. This remarkable achievement prompted an impressive cheer before one of the stranger-friend guys in the group decided to make the game a little more interesting. And the volleyball drinking game begins.

As if talking to a stranger wasn’t uncomfortable enough. Now I have to play with the fear that if I make a mistake I will be forced to take a lovely, or rather not-so-lovely, drink of vodka and backwash from the bottle in the middle of the circle.

Don’t mess up, Don’t mess up, Don’t mess up.

Crap.

The ball goes racing over my head as I reach up a second too late. Next thing I know the vodka bottle is being shoved in my face by the guy that came up with this genius idea. Everyone’s chanting drink, drink, drink. I stand there holding the bottle and mumble some lame excuse, but no one is listening. So with the cap still on, I tip the bottle up, set it back down, and fake a nice big swallow faster than you can say South Padre Island. I never tasted a drop.

I don’t like vodka. Strangers scare me. It smells like pot. What in the world am I doing here?

It all made sense before I left.

This spring break, I’m going to go to South Padre Island with a group of students from my church and we are going to make a difference. That was my plan.

Every spring break, groups of college students from universities all over Texas chose to spend their spring break helping others on South Padre Island rather than participating in the partying. We gave out free food and safe rides across the island. We hung out and played volleyball with people. We had conversations with people. We prayed for people.

But standing there in a sea of drunken chaos, I doubted my ability to make a difference. I doubted God’s ability to make a difference. Even after I got there, I was a little unsure of why I’d decided to go and throughout the week I struggled to see the good is such an ugly situation.

And then I met a girl named Stephanie.

It was the last night of the week and my group was scheduled to give van rides from 10 p.m. till 3 a.m. At this point in the week, most people recognized our vans and would call in if they needed a ride. But everything had become so crazy that most of the time we just picked up groups from the main club on the island.

After dropping off one particularly crazy group, I sat there in the brief moment of silence, thinking. Five minutes earlier our van had been packed beyond capacity with sweaty intoxicated strangers. One girl was practically sitting on my lap while another guy breathed heavily over my shoulder.  I smiled through the disrespectful comments. I laughed as they talked about partying on the beach. But after they got off my heart hurt.

Every direction I looked, I saw wild, out-of-control madness. The street was a parking lot of drunk drivers. Dancing, screaming, laughing people gathered in masses outside. People banged on our windows when we stopped and flipped us off when we couldn’t pick them up.

In that moment everything around me turned into a blur of slow-motion and I was left trying to figure out how in the world I had gotten myself into such an awful, dangerous situation. Everything in me wanted to give up, to pack and go home, to accept that I couldn’t make a difference. But, no, that wasn’t an option. We still had two hours left in our shift. So I pulled myself together and prayed for strength.

A few minutes later our van pulled up to a hotel and a group of about five students climbed into our van.

Louis’, that’s where they were going. It’s a five minute drive on a normal day, but at least 30 minutes in the traffic.

“Hi, what’s your name?” I asked the petite girl that sat beside me.

“Stephanie,” she answered.

That was the start to the most real conversation I’ve ever had with a complete stranger. We started talking about school, life, spring break, the usual small talk. But something in me told me to ask her about her faith. When I did, I got to hear her story.

She told me about growing up Catholic. About how she stopped going to church in college and had recently started going again. She told me about her family and about her struggles. She told me about how far away God seemed to be sometimes.

Her story wasn’t abnormal or spectacular, but it was real. She asked tough questions and I didn’t have all the answers. All I could tell her was how Jesus had changed my life. I didn’t preach a rehearsed version of my theological viewpoints. I simply had a conversation and allowed my faith shine through.

When we arrived at their destination I asked her if I could pray for her before she got off the van. She said yes and asked that I pray for her family and her safety. I prayed a short prayer, said Amen, and prepared to say goodbye.

But then something beautiful happened.

“Wait,” she said. “Sometimes I doubt that God is real and that he hears my prayers. But right now I know that he is real.”

So with all of her friends already standing outside, she asked me to pray again that we wouldn’t doubt. So I prayed. Not just for her doubt, but for mine. All week, I had doubted the power and goodness of God and in that moment I realized how wrong I had been. She had been able to see the goodness of God exactly where I had thought it impossible.

After she got off, I cried. I cried for the brokenness for the world. I cried overcome by the goodness of God. It felt so good to just cry.

I went there to serve people and help my peers, because I thought they were the ones that needed help.  But I realized that in reality, I need help just as much as the next guy. Sometimes, what people need most is simply someone to listen to their story and accept them for their mistakes.

I went there hoping to make a difference, but it wasn’t me who made a difference on that island. Alone, nothing I said would have made a difference. But with the power of Christ, my words had the ability to change a life. Not because they were coming from a moral person. Not because I had done anything good. But because I, a broken person, received grace.

Stephanie is a real person. Callie, Thomas, Cambria, Lauren, Brent, Morgan, Kendra. They’re real people. They have real problems. They feel real pain. But the good news is that there is a real God who knows that pain and died for that pain.

That truth will always be enough to make a difference.

-Elissa

Conditioned

If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world. -C.S. Lewis

I’ve never really felt like I fit in. In high school I was well liked, made good grades and was successful in athletics, but I still felt out of place. Something inside my heart told me I wasn’t where I belonged. Even in college, surrounded by some of the greatest friends and community I’ve ever had, I never felt like I found where I truly thrived. Since I started truly chasing after Jesus I’ve learned those feelings were because I’m not created to fit in. I absolutely love the blessed life I’ve been given, but it’s a temporary fix because I’m a temporary resident on earth. I’m an alien (1 Peter 2:11). I’m a sojourner passing through this place for a few years before I meet my Maker. I’m not created for this world (John 15:19). I’m created to be in an intimate, satisfying relationship with the only One who truly knows my deepest desires and how to fulfill them. Until I meet Him face-to-face I will always feel out of place and in the mean time I’m called to use this life to make an impact that’s greater than popularity, making straight As and being on the starting lineup. I’m playing the role of a lighthouse.

The purpose of a lighthouse is to steer mariners, whilst in dense fog or dark nights, away from cliffs, land and shorelines, coral reefs and other potentially hazardous areas.

That’s my role on this earth – to emit a light that steers others away from the disaster of an eternity spent completely separated from their Maker. I’ve been called to shine so that others can sail into the safest harbor – God’s warm embrace.

My whole life has conditioned me to shine. And when I say shine, I’m not in the spotlight. There’s nothing above average about me. I just serve a God that uses ordinary people for His extraordinary glory. It’s not about me, it’s about Him. I am powerless, but He is POWERFUL. The only reason anything is accomplished through me is because the Holy Spirit is in my heart. I can love others and tell them about Jesus, but He is the One who
IMG_8811saves.

The same goes for Mission of Hope in Haiti. They are literally a city on a hill. Their main campus is located on a mountainside and their buildings are lit for people to see for miles in the dark. They are a beacon of hope shining the light of Jesus into the lives of others in their darkest hours. The organization is doing crazy awesome things in Haiti, but it’s all a result of God flexing His muscles and transforming lives. The Mission of Hope staff is simply walking in obedience to God’s will for their lives.

While in Haiti, it was evident that I was conditioned for the bugs, dirt, sweat, cold showers, long days and tight living quarters. I live in Austin now, but I grew up in the country. I may dress nice for work, but there’s a backwoods girl underneath the pleated slacks and mascara. As a child, I spent tons of time at my family’s deer camp, which happens to be six miles from electricity. In a nutshell, dirt becomes an accessory, bugs are IMG_8088everywhere, summers are HOT, and showers are optional. Playing collegiate volleyball also conditioned me to keep going when my body told me there was no gas left in the tank. In Haiti the days are long, the sun is brutal, but God is so good! There were points where I thought I couldn’t possibly keep going, but when my strength was failing, my Savior was strong. There is something beautiful about being at a point where you can no longer rely on your own strength. After years of afternoons in the outdoors, tough off-seasons, and spending tons of time with teammates on charter buses for hours, the Haitian mosquitos, bed bugs, dirt and our living arrangements felt like coming home.

As I’ve settled back into life in the States, I’ve realized I’ve found a home away from home and left a huge piece of my heart about as far away from the American Dream of a white picket fence and six-figure salary as you can get. Over the course of the week I spent in Haiti, God showed me that the fullest life can be lived in flamingo pink, ocean blue and sunshine yellow block homes that IMG_8179house some of the most beautiful and vibrant ivory smiles I’ve ever seen. He showed me that success isn’t measured by a good salary or nice home, but instead is measured best by obedience to His call.

God rocked my world in Haiti and I can’t wait to share more stories of His power and goodness. Stay tuned!