A couple days before Thanksgiving, I had an incredible conversation with a great friend who recently returned from a mission trip. As we concluded our talk, he asked how he could pray for me and immediately prayed with me. I explained to him how The Lord answered months worth of prayers for a job and my grandpa’s health in 48 hours, and shared with him that less than a week later, I felt indifferent to His goodness. I was disgusted with my heart condition, but hadn’t been able to put into words what I was experiencing until my dear friend lovingly rebuked my gratitude-less heart. That was it! Gratitude was the word I was searching for. During a season of Thanksgiving, I was lacking gratitude towards what The Lord had so graciously given me. I can be such a punk!

The following morning, I wrote these words in my journal:

Lord, give me an attitude of gratitude. I’m so quick to forget the blessings you’ve given me. I’m thankful one day and indifferent the next. I want a heart that’s constantly in a posture of worship, praise and adoration. You deserve nothing less than my constant reverence. Thank you for the cross of Christ and the forgiveness and righteousness it clothes me with. Despite my shortcomings, you love me, pursue me and make me whole. You don’t call me to half-hearted pursuit, you call me to die completely to self in order to find life. My tendency of complacency reveals my heart for self-sufficiency. It says “Thanks God, but I probably could have figured this out on my own,” when that is the furthest thing from Truth. Every breath comes from you – my head knows that, but my heart doesn’t always believe it. I plead for a heart transplant, so that I may continue to be molded more like Christ. Amen. 

My bout of indifference towards answered prayers reminded me that I should always have an attitude of gratitude. My world can be spiraling out of control, but with Christ as my Lord and Savior, I always have something to be grateful for.