[Heart Fuel] Live A Great Story

Austin’s Town Lake holds a special place in my heart. The combination of nature and athleticism is something that always puts me in tune with the Spirit and I never leave the trail with a lack of inspiration. At the completion of my latest run, I stumbled on this reminder to live a great story and, as usual, it spurred my thoughts.

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Living a great story starts and ends with Jesus Christ. Your great life story begins when Jesus becomes the reason why you live it, and it ends when you join the heavenly voices in Hallelujah praises. The in-between is an opportunity to live out the purposes God has appointed in your life by walking in obedience.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast… – Ephesians 2:8-9

This is the start of your great story.

…For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. – Ephesians 2:10

This is the journey of your great story.

“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure” -Revelation 19:6-8

This is the final destination of your great story.

Live it.

[Heart Fuel] Identity

Yep, I’m a “pinner” and every once in a while I scroll across something that stops me in my tracks and gets me thinking. I like to refer to it as “Heart Fuel.” Be encouraged!

92d0892e95a125b91331a1a480d6bf3aI am a perfectly imperfect child of the cross. My beauty comes from the righteous robes of Christ. Through Jesus, I am empowered by the Holy Spirit and armed with the life-giving message of the Gospel to boldly live and love for a purpose greater than I could ever imagine. 

Your identity in Christ is BEAUTIFUL. Never, ever apologize for who you are or what you believe in. You are thought about, handcrafted and known by the Creator of the Universe. That is an INCREDIBLE identity. Embrace it!

We All Need Backup

They say: “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone…”

I’m 99.9% sure you’ve heard this phrase countless times after a breakup. Today I’m going to spin this overused quote a different way and apply it to community within the Church body.

In the past couple months community was hard to engage in. During college I found a church home that embraced me and all my strange quirks (obnoxiously loud and uncontrollable laughs being the frontrunner). They’ve loved me during life’s valleys, watched me grow in my faith, cheered me on in volleyball and so much more. After entering the “real world” suddenly making it to church on Sundays became impossible due to circumstances outside of my control. Accountability was out the window, worship seemed to lack luster and honestly I felt alone, vulnerable and left out for the wolves. When I entered back into community, I was immediately embraced and the relationships that were hard to maintain during my absence picked up right where they left off.

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I say: “You don’t know how important community is until it’s gone…”

There’s a difference between knowing and realizing something’s importance. I’ve known what scripture says about the importance of community, but thanks to a community-less season of life I now realize its importance. There’s a reason Jesus tells us He’s present when two or more are gathered in His name (Matthew 18:20) and Solomon, in all of his wisdom, wanted us to know that one person can be overpowered, two can defend themselves and a cord of three strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Jesus prayed for the unity of believers (John 17:20-21) and Paul refers to believers as the body of Christ for a reason (1 Corinthians 12:12-14). We can’t do it alone. Satan wants us isolated so he can fill us with lies and make us turn from Truth. Jesus claimed the final victory, but there’s still a battle for hearts raging everyday and we all need backup!

If you are struggling and aren’t an active part of the body of believers, get involved…RIGHT NOW! Send a text, shoot an email, make a call. Do something! You weren’t created to enter battle alone.

Much love,

Meredith

Worth in the Cross

Take a second to check out this pen. It’s worth one dollar. Suppose someone came to you and said “I really like your pen. I’ll give you $1,000,000 for it.” You’d probably contemplate this person’s sanity and then accept the offer. That pen’s worth increases from $1 to $1,000,000. 

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Something’s worth is determined by the price paid for it.

God looks at us and sees His children that He adores. Your worth is found in Christ who DIED for you. Do you know the weight of that? Jesus paid His life for YOU! You can’t put a price tag on the infinite worth of Christ. Praying this Truth encourages anyone struggling with worth. You’re a child of God, redeemed at the Cross. You are loved. You are treasured. You are WORTH IT!!!

“But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!” -Romans 5:8

Battlefield

I’ve struggled writing this post because I cannot fathom how my words can possibly grasp and convey the glory and power of God. After wrestling with what to say to portray the way He revealed Himself in the small Haitian village of Source Matelas I came to this conclusion – they can’t. All I can do is channel the raw emotions I experienced and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.

I’ve seen God do miraculous things. I’ve seen Him change hard hearts. I’ve seen Him heal. I’ve seen Him provide in perfect timing. And I’ve seen Him send down His Spirit in a way that makes it impossible to doubt His power, grace, and goodness. That’s the story I want to share.

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March 12, 2013:

The morning was physically, spiritually and emotionally exhausting. I have never seen more pain or a greater need for a miracle. It was our first village outreach day in Haiti and I expected to walk the streets, play with children, pray with people, share the Good News of Jesus. We did all of those things, but what I didn’t expect was the roller coaster of emotions and exhaustion I felt at the end of the day.

The first lady we talked to was a street vendor. After asking enough questions to know her name and make her feel comfortable around us we began asking her about her faith, her family and her struggles. Her eyes revealed the deep hurt she felt. She was barren after 20 years of marriage. Her husband left her to work in Miami. She was alone and desperately desired a child. Lindsey (one of our incredible adult leaders) related to her pain and so did I. Last year Lindsey and her husband, Joseph, wanted to start their family, but after miscarriages and a current pregnancy Lindsey worried about her son who was still in the womb until God spoke into her heart and gave her peace that John David was going to make it. Today their “little bean” is learning to crawl and hamming it up every time me and the other girls come over for a visit. John David is proof that God is bigger than barrenness. In that moment, as Lindsey shared her story, I lost it. I wept uncontrollably as I thought about how much Lindsey’s story related to my own parent’s. I am a result of God being bigger than barrenness. I thought about Hannah, who was barren and cried out to God for a child. God answered her cries and blessed her with Samuel. She dedicated Samuel to God and he became a prophet and judge of Israel (1 Samuel 1). Samuel was used for God’s glory, John David is being used for God’s glory, I am being used for God’s glory. The magnitude of those Truths hit my heart hard and the day had just begun.

Our group of 18 split into smaller groups of six and we continued our walk through the village. My group had trekked about 50 feet from the vendor before being summoned to a woman’s home. We were welcomed into her concrete home without hesitation. A puppy greeted us on the front porch as we walked through the front door. The only light in the home shone through the windows. The first room was the family’s dining and living room. We thought that was going to be where our journey ended, but then the woman motioned to a bedroom off to the right of the living space. I was one of the first to enter the room and stopped abruptly at the sight of a small, disfigured body lying in bed. Maxon-louie was 11 years old and had never spoken. The only noise he made was a quiet grinding of his teeth. His head was swollen to the size of a volleyball and His arms and legs were two to three inches in diameter.

Tears. I was speechless and felt completely helpless. When we asked his mother whether she had accepted Jesus as her Savior, she said she wanted to but needed to clean up her life before she could believe in Jesus. We followed up by asking why she asked us to pray for her family if she didn’t believe. She responded with a shrug of the shoulders. She didn’t know why she asked, but it was evident that she saw a Power in us that could heal her son. We laid our hands on Maxon-louie and prayed. We wept. And when we didn’t have the words to say, we sang.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T’was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
‘Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we’ve been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’ve first begun.

I wish I could tell you that Maxon-louie spoke for the first time and got out of bed to walk. He didn’t. Although we fully believed that God could heal him of his illness, it wasn’t His plan for that moment. He wanted us to love this little boy and his family for that brief period of time and leave them with part of our hearts and our prayers. My heart broke for this family and for this little boy who has never known the joy of playing soccer with his fellow villagers. I left more broken than I came, but was hopeful that this family would realize they don’t have to clean up their lives before accepting Jesus. He takes us as we are and makes us new.

By lunchtime my emotions were on a roller coaster ride. Joy, pain, happiness, awe, hurt. You name it, I felt it over the course of a couple hours. I didn’t think I could take anymore. After meeting the vendor and Maxon-louie we played with school kids and prayed with a woman who accepted Jesus that morning. It was a beautiful sight to see her drop to her knees in awe of the grace and love she received from Jesus. We walked back to our canter along a stream. In Haiti, there are goats and chickens roaming freely throughout the villages, but on this walk we noticed a pig. When we got back from our lunch break our group marched back through the village along stream. We saw the same pig, in the exact same spot, but this time we noticed a huge tree the pig was resting by. How we didn’t notice the tree the first time is an act of God. Haiti is 98% deforested and this tree was GINORMOUS! You don’t miss this tree unless God really wants you to miss it.

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Naturally the five year old in all of us came out and we started climbing the tree. After a few minutes of climbing and taking this picture we heard a voice start yelling at us in Creole.

Crap. The jig is up.

In the yard next to the tree was a woman. Short ombre micro-braids fading from black to gold fell from her scalp. Two necklaces hung from her neck, one depicting an image of Christ. The atmosphere changed the moment she walked over to us. The cold look in her eyes instantly warned us that something about this place was dark. She came out of her yard and started asking us what we are doing. Our translators explained that we were missionaries from the United States that were praying for people and talking to them about Jesus. The translators informed us that she was a Voodoo Priestess and that the tree we were just climbing was used for Voodoo worship. The following conversation ensued:

Us: Do you believe in Jesus?

Voodoo Priestess: No.

Us: Why not?

Voodoo Priestess: I can’t. 

Us: Why can’t you?

Voodoo Priestess: Because I’m afraid.

Us: Why are you afraid?

Voodoo Priestess: There are evil spirits in the tree. I’ve lost seven children and every time I’ve tried to go to church I’ve fallen down and can’t make it.

Translator: Is it alright if they share a story about Jesus with you?

Voodoo Priestess: Yes.

Translator: Does anyone have a story about Jesus they would like to share?

Alicia, one of our group members, started sharing this story from Mark 9:14-29.

And when they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and scribes arguing with them. And immediately all the crowd, when they saw him, were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him. And he asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?”

 And someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.”

And he answered them, “O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me.” And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?”

And he said, “From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”

And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can!’ All things are possible for one who believes.”

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”

And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.

And when he had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?”

And he said to them, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”

Most of our group had started praying while Alicia was telling the story. It was evident that this woman had a battle between good and evil raging inside her. My eyes were closed until Alicia finished telling the story and when I looked up the Voodoo Priestess was gone. Our translator remarked that she had been moved. She gave Alicia an out-of-this-world look and stormed off after hearing God’s Word. We prayed over the tree and her home, began singing “Whom Shall I Fear” by Chris Tomlin and continued our journey through the village. The encounter frightened me, but by the time we made it back to the Mission of Hope campus, an afternoon of playing soccer in a skirt and racing with a small child on my back had successfully distracted me from my fears.

During our debrief that evening we talked about our experiences with the Voodoo Priestess. After the meeting, I was unsettled and sent a message to a few family members and friends in the States asking for prayer for the Voodoo Priestess. I had never witnessed such extreme spiritual warfare. I was afraid and wanted to stay as far away from Source Matelas and the Voodoo Priestess as possible. One emotion began to paralyze me.

Fear.

(to be continued…)

Life to the Fullest

I know it’s old news, but I’m obsessed with Kid President. His optimism inspires me and his message is powerful (not to mention he may be one of the cutest kids ever). We can learn a lot from his pep talk about what God expects of us while we’re spending time in this temporary home. So often we get caught up in the negative things happening during the day and forget that we are like mist that appears for a while and then vanishes (James 4:14). Even on the worst days our hearts are beating and air is filling our lungs. These two truths are a gift because none of us deserve another heartbeat or breath. I deserve the death Jesus died. I deserve the beatings, the nails, the pierced side, but He took the pain for me and for YOU. That Truth should change the way you look at life when you wake up in the morning. Someone died for YOU so that you can live the fullest life!

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. -Jesus

I’d like to challenge you to look at the glass half full and live a life of freedom that is found only in Christ. Laugh until it hurts, dance like no one’s watching, play a part in making someone’s day a little bit better by making them smile, and live in a way that makes people wonder why you are always joyful. Whatever you are doing, do it enthusiastically as something done for the Lord and not for man (Colossians 3:23). Let Christ be your motivation to stay positive. Let every breath and heartbeat be a reminder of a future you will be spending in Heaven. Christ died, so that you could live. Do something about it!

This is life people. You got air coming from your nose!  You got a heartbeat. That means it’s time to do something!

Always Enough

It was a little less than two years ago in a hotel room in Fort Smith, Arkansas after a volleyball game as I sat in bed across the room from one of my teammates, Elissa, when I knew I had met a lifelong friend. We had won the match against our conference rival, keeping an undefeated conference record in reach, but that wasn’t the center of our conversation. It was the first time we had roomed together and instead of getting caught up in the details of our recent victory, we started talking about playing for God’s glory. And that’s when it happened. A friendship blossomed. Fast-forward to today and we’re doing life together. We’ve reached the point where we can ask each other the tough questions that tug at the issues of our hearts. We pray through the hard times and praise at the smallest victories. This past Spring Break, Elissa went to South Padre Island for Beach Reach. After hearing about her experiences and seeing the twinkle in her eyes that clearly conveyed her awe of God’s goodness, I also had the pleasure of reading a paper she wrote for class about her trip. After shedding a few tears, I knew this was a story that needed to be shared.

 

Grab a cup of coffee, get cozy, and bask in the glory of God and how He is moving in some of the most unlikely circumstances. He is so good!

A Personal Essay:

Being at a party sober is like being that one confused puppy at the dog park that tries to keep up when out of nowhere the community tennis ball smacks him in the face and he’s nearly run over by the herd racing after it.

I guess that’s kind of how I felt standing in the middle of Coca-Cola Beach on the last day of Spring Break at South Padre Island. Surrounded by blaring music, erotic dancing, unusual partying mechanisms, and   hundreds of wasted college students, the party had nearly doubled in size since the day before.

“Hi, what’s your name? Where are you from? Oh, that’s cool” had been the introduction to my attempt at being friendly most of the week. As a natural introvert, talking to strangers is usually completely out of the question for me. You have your life, I have mine. Maybe I’ll smile at a familiar face while walking to class, but to actually have a conversation with someone of whom I know nothing about and appear to have nothing in common with. That’s a definite no.

As is turns out, people visiting South Padre during Spring Break are some of the friendliest you’ll ever meet. Especially if they’ve had a bit to drink.

At one point during my South Padre adventures, a couple of friends and I decided to start a classic game of “volleyball” with our new stranger-friends. In reality, it was more like stand around in a circle-like shape and attempt to keep the ball from hitting the ground by awkwardly punching at it while wearing a bikini and laughing uncontrollably.

As a collegiate volleyball player, I can assure you that’s not how you play volleyball. But regardless, this volleyball experience was one of the most fun and unique I’ve ever had. People would see us playing and jump right in, acting like they were going to compete in the Olympics or something. Then they swing and miss. Well at least you’re trying, right? Just when I was ready to give up, our circle managed to keep the rally going for more than 2 contacts. This remarkable achievement prompted an impressive cheer before one of the stranger-friend guys in the group decided to make the game a little more interesting. And the volleyball drinking game begins.

As if talking to a stranger wasn’t uncomfortable enough. Now I have to play with the fear that if I make a mistake I will be forced to take a lovely, or rather not-so-lovely, drink of vodka and backwash from the bottle in the middle of the circle.

Don’t mess up, Don’t mess up, Don’t mess up.

Crap.

The ball goes racing over my head as I reach up a second too late. Next thing I know the vodka bottle is being shoved in my face by the guy that came up with this genius idea. Everyone’s chanting drink, drink, drink. I stand there holding the bottle and mumble some lame excuse, but no one is listening. So with the cap still on, I tip the bottle up, set it back down, and fake a nice big swallow faster than you can say South Padre Island. I never tasted a drop.

I don’t like vodka. Strangers scare me. It smells like pot. What in the world am I doing here?

It all made sense before I left.

This spring break, I’m going to go to South Padre Island with a group of students from my church and we are going to make a difference. That was my plan.

Every spring break, groups of college students from universities all over Texas chose to spend their spring break helping others on South Padre Island rather than participating in the partying. We gave out free food and safe rides across the island. We hung out and played volleyball with people. We had conversations with people. We prayed for people.

But standing there in a sea of drunken chaos, I doubted my ability to make a difference. I doubted God’s ability to make a difference. Even after I got there, I was a little unsure of why I’d decided to go and throughout the week I struggled to see the good is such an ugly situation.

And then I met a girl named Stephanie.

It was the last night of the week and my group was scheduled to give van rides from 10 p.m. till 3 a.m. At this point in the week, most people recognized our vans and would call in if they needed a ride. But everything had become so crazy that most of the time we just picked up groups from the main club on the island.

After dropping off one particularly crazy group, I sat there in the brief moment of silence, thinking. Five minutes earlier our van had been packed beyond capacity with sweaty intoxicated strangers. One girl was practically sitting on my lap while another guy breathed heavily over my shoulder.  I smiled through the disrespectful comments. I laughed as they talked about partying on the beach. But after they got off my heart hurt.

Every direction I looked, I saw wild, out-of-control madness. The street was a parking lot of drunk drivers. Dancing, screaming, laughing people gathered in masses outside. People banged on our windows when we stopped and flipped us off when we couldn’t pick them up.

In that moment everything around me turned into a blur of slow-motion and I was left trying to figure out how in the world I had gotten myself into such an awful, dangerous situation. Everything in me wanted to give up, to pack and go home, to accept that I couldn’t make a difference. But, no, that wasn’t an option. We still had two hours left in our shift. So I pulled myself together and prayed for strength.

A few minutes later our van pulled up to a hotel and a group of about five students climbed into our van.

Louis’, that’s where they were going. It’s a five minute drive on a normal day, but at least 30 minutes in the traffic.

“Hi, what’s your name?” I asked the petite girl that sat beside me.

“Stephanie,” she answered.

That was the start to the most real conversation I’ve ever had with a complete stranger. We started talking about school, life, spring break, the usual small talk. But something in me told me to ask her about her faith. When I did, I got to hear her story.

She told me about growing up Catholic. About how she stopped going to church in college and had recently started going again. She told me about her family and about her struggles. She told me about how far away God seemed to be sometimes.

Her story wasn’t abnormal or spectacular, but it was real. She asked tough questions and I didn’t have all the answers. All I could tell her was how Jesus had changed my life. I didn’t preach a rehearsed version of my theological viewpoints. I simply had a conversation and allowed my faith shine through.

When we arrived at their destination I asked her if I could pray for her before she got off the van. She said yes and asked that I pray for her family and her safety. I prayed a short prayer, said Amen, and prepared to say goodbye.

But then something beautiful happened.

“Wait,” she said. “Sometimes I doubt that God is real and that he hears my prayers. But right now I know that he is real.”

So with all of her friends already standing outside, she asked me to pray again that we wouldn’t doubt. So I prayed. Not just for her doubt, but for mine. All week, I had doubted the power and goodness of God and in that moment I realized how wrong I had been. She had been able to see the goodness of God exactly where I had thought it impossible.

After she got off, I cried. I cried for the brokenness for the world. I cried overcome by the goodness of God. It felt so good to just cry.

I went there to serve people and help my peers, because I thought they were the ones that needed help.  But I realized that in reality, I need help just as much as the next guy. Sometimes, what people need most is simply someone to listen to their story and accept them for their mistakes.

I went there hoping to make a difference, but it wasn’t me who made a difference on that island. Alone, nothing I said would have made a difference. But with the power of Christ, my words had the ability to change a life. Not because they were coming from a moral person. Not because I had done anything good. But because I, a broken person, received grace.

Stephanie is a real person. Callie, Thomas, Cambria, Lauren, Brent, Morgan, Kendra. They’re real people. They have real problems. They feel real pain. But the good news is that there is a real God who knows that pain and died for that pain.

That truth will always be enough to make a difference.

-Elissa

Majesty in the Tragedy

“Welcome to Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until the pilot turns off the seatbelt sign.”

Touchdown. It was time for the journey to begin. Five months of planning had gone into preparing for this moment and it was time to serve, or so I thought.

After eight days of cold showers, brushing my teeth outside next to turkeys and chickens, going to war with mosquitos every night, and letting “yellow mellow,” I had fallen in love with Haiti. I had come to serve, but God wanted me to fall in love with the barren mountainsides, ivory smiles, and breathtaking sunsets. When people talk about Haiti, they talk about the earthquake that took 300,000 lives. When I talk about Haiti, a twinkle shines from my eyes at the sovereignty of a loving God who makes all things work for GOOD and is making all things NEW. Yes, Haiti is broken, but it is BEAUTIFUL. We talk about the tragedy, but I see God’s majesty. After all, aren’t we all broken, yet beautiful in the eyes of our Father? Weren’t we all destined for a tragic ending until Jesus stepped in and changed the game forever by taking our place on the cross?

Hop on the canter and enter into Haiti, where people live in color and fully rely on God for EVERYTHING. Enjoy and God Bless!

 

(To be continued…)

The Least

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

Matthew 25:34-40

Orchestrated

Therefore, I am going to persuade her, lead her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. –Hosea 2:14

Swimming was my first love. My name even means Guardian of the Sea, so it doesn’t surprise me that God chose swimming as the sport He’d use to woo me into His warm embrace. On my first birthday, I was splashing around in the creek that runs through my family’s property and at 17 I found myself swimming my last competitive race. This past weekend marks the fourth anniversary of that last swim. I still remember cooling down for an extended period to ensure that no one saw my brokenness, the disappointment that I hadn’t accomplished my goal for that final swim, and that I was choosing to leave my first love to pursue a collegiate volleyball career. In the small Texas town I call home, I was known as the swimmer, and choosing a sport where I had earned fewer accolades and relied on a team for success seemed bogus. Praise God it wasn’t bogus to Him. This past weekend, at 21 years old, God took me down memory lane and showed me a highlight reel of my life that has gotten me to this point. A point where I don’t fear the unknown because I wholeheartedly trust the Creator, I don’t fear death because I know where I’m spending eternity, where I don’t fear not fitting in because I know I wasn’t made to. The life I am now living is life in the fullest.

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If I haven’t bored you to tears, I’d love you to immerse yourself in my story and I pray that it blessed you to TRUST in all circumstances the One who made you for Him.

I was 13 when I walked into the Lee and Joe Jamail Texas Swim Center proudly sporting my Texas A&M sweatshirt. Mom and Dad had taken me to Wendy’s for lunch where I saw my first traffic cone orange Mohawk. Austin was weird and I didn’t want anything to do with it. My dream was to swim for the Aggies. My parents are the type that taught me to dream big and always promised to catch me if I fell. I had set a goal to qualify for the state meet as a freshman, and they wanted me to see what I was aiming for so I knew how to prepare. We watched and I thirsted to dive into lane 4 where records had been broken and Olympians had trained.

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When I set goals, I plan to accomplish them. Goals aren’t necessarily a bad thing, but I’ve learned when they’re for selfish gain and self-glorification it can be devastating when they aren’t accomplished. My devastation came in the form of .60 seconds. In swimming that’s about a hand’s length difference. In my world, that was about 130 miles, the distance from El Campo, TX to Austin, TX for the state swim meet. Instead of making the journey to actually swim, we drove to watch my competitor take what I thought was my rightful place in the pool. My thirst hadn’t been quenched.

Sophomore year. The year of redemption. It was my time and I was ready to seize it. The 200 Freestyle was my first individual race at the regional meet and I was feeling good. In a little over two minutes I punched the wall, posting my personal best time. Something was wrong. Men in white were at my lane. Fear and disappointed kicked in as they told me my shoulder “twitched” before the buzzer. Disqualified. No medal, just tears. I was a mess, but Momma Bard caught me, held me, prayed with me, and helped me give my disappointment to God. I had to get focused. The 500 Freestyle was my best shot at qualifying for state and tears were definitely not helpful when swimming.

Take your mark. Beep. Off the block. Stroke. Kick. Stay within striking distance. The 500 is all strategy. My competitors were a body length ahead of me and I’d never felt calmer in the pool. It was time to attack.

Stroke. Kick. Inch by inch I overcame the difference until my goal was accomplished. A personal best. A berth into the state meet. Another trip to that weird place known as Austin, TX. Another goal accomplished.

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Volleyball. A sport that allows you to talk while you play, rather than blow bubbles while you swim. A beautiful game that I had began to fall in love with. Swimming was still in the picture, but volleyball had stolen some of my attention. It was time to switch gears and trade in the race of endurance for a burst of speed and precision so that I had time to train for volleyball. Goodbye 500 Freestyle, hello 50 Free.

It was time for the 2008 state qualifying meet. Despite my dramatic event change from the longest event to the shortest event, I was the favorite. Twenty-five seconds was all it took to make it down and back. It was a tight race, but I had won. State two years in a row. Submersion into a sea of burnt orange was on my horizon. This time, qualifying wasn’t enough, I wanted to make it to the championship final and finish in the top eight swimmers in the state. Disappointment struck again. I had place ninth. This time the different was .08 of a second. I had been less than a fingernail from reaching my goal, but during the consolation finals I was placed in lane 4. I was in the center of the pool where Olympians I idolized had swum, but the thirst I felt in eighth grade still wasn’t quenched.

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By the time swim season arrived my senior year, I wanted to qualify for state, but I had started to live and breathe volleyball. Swimming was placed on the back burner and looking back I have no doubt God was the only reason I ended up in Austin. I wasn’t ready to admit that I was going to choose volleyball over swimming because I knew I was going to disappoint everyone who had journeyed with me over the course of 13 years in the pool. Regionals came around and I placed fourth behind the state record holder and eventual gold medalist, the bronze medalist, and another very talented swimmer. My only hope was a call up and I knew that was a long shot. I cried, a lot, and came to terms with the fact that my swimming career was over. We celebrated at Texas Roadhouse with a few too many rolls lathered in honey butter. As we were walking out, a group of swimmers from another school in our region caught me off guard and congratulated me for qualifying for state. Wait…WHAT?! I was in?!

I had taken the eighth and final call up spot. It seemed that God had intervened on my behalf.

I wore my red and white El Campo swim cap for the last time in Lee and Joe Jamail Texas Swim Center and although I was disappointed in my last swim I now realize that it was all a part of the Potter’s plan. At that point I had been offered a scholarship to play volleyball at St. Edward’s University in Austin, TX. My future coach came to watch me swim, called me after my race, and told me that my speed off the block (I had the quickest reaction time) would serve me well in volleyball. Just a side note: if a coach who is genuinely supportive of everything you are involved in is recruiting you, tell them yes. They care about you and want you to not only be the best athlete, but the best person you can be. That’s a unique quality that you don’t want to pass up.

I knew it was time to make my decision. I told my parents and my swim coach that I wanted to play volleyball at St. Edward’s. I come from a pretty sentimental family, so we drove to campus and I called my coach to let him know I was committing. Before I could get the words out, he asked where I was and told me to head to the gym to say “Hi”. I ended up committing in person.

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Therefore, I am going to persuade her, lead her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. –Hosea 2:14

At 21, I now realize why that thirst I thought I could quench through swimming was never satisfied. My thirst wasn’t to qualify for the state swim meet, it was a thirst for God. I’ve since graduated from St. Edward’s and am pursuing a career in sports marketing. After four seasons on the Hilltop it is clearer to me than ever before that God placed me exactly where I needed to be. Austin seemed like the last place I wanted to be when I was 13, but it became the wilderness God wooed me into to capture my heart for eternity.

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Notice how throughout my swimming story it was always MY goals, MY dreams and MY desires. Although I prayed before and after swims, I wasn’t aiming to follow God. Disappointment devastated me because I was seeking self-glorification when I should have been working towards Christ’s glorification. But that’s the beauty of the Gospel. It finds us where we’re at and changes us forever. When I wasn’t chasing after Him, God chased after me. He has a perfectly orchestrated plan for my life, and YOURS that is falling into place at this very moment. I still occasionally swim for exercise and now I realize a cross marks the end of each link of the pool. A cross to keep everything in perspective. A cross to remind me that in this life I’m not racing to win, I’m racing to glorify the King of kings who died for me.

Meredith